Best Friend Protocols
by Selena Snow
Summary: When Dan is having an existential crisis, Phil always knows what to do. Similarly, when Phil's feeling down, Dan always has a solution. Friendship Dan and Phil drabble. Based off of dostmotherknowyou 's (Tumblr) drawing. Two-Shot, will continue if requested.
1. Chapter 1

It had almost been two weeks since the last one, and he knew it was time. Honestly, it worked like clockwork at this point. Phil reacting to Dan's existential crises was like Louise helping Zoe with her panic attacks- it was second nature. And now, at three am in the morning, Phil could feel his best-friend-protocols kicking in as he listened to Dan pacing up and down in his bedroom.

Phil didn't even sigh as he rolled out of bed. He'd stopped doing that two years ago. Now he knew better, just like he knew how much Dan had come to rely on him in these situations. Of course Dan would never admit it. He would just nod and maybe every once in a while give a tiny, grateful smile. That was enough for Phil.

He knocked on the door softly. He received no answer, as per usual. He opened the door slowly and saw Dan still pacing and now mumbling under his breath about something. Phil could feel his heart frowning as he watched his best friend going through this almost ritual agony. Knowing that he would continue to be ignored, Phil walked over to Dan's cd collection and picked up one labeled "Calming Music". After popping it in and starting a soothing track, he slipped away to the kitchen to make two cups of tea. One was chamomile and the other was lavender. Since Dan frequently switched back and forth between the different calming teas, Phil always made both so his friend could have his pick.

Finally, on his way back to Dan's room, Phil stopped by the lounge to get a blanket. Honestly, it should have been thrown out months ago, but it was the one that always helped during these times, and Phil couldn't bear to break Dan's heart that way. Blanket tossed over his shoulder and mugs in his hands, Phil made his way back toward Dan. By this time, his best friend had settled down on the floor in a little ball. His arms were wrapped around his legs and his face was hidden in his knees.

After putting the mugs on the desk, Phil gently placed the blanket over Dan's shoulders. He took the mugs into his hands again before he settled down on the floor in front of Dan. "Lavender or chamomile?" he asked quietly as to not startle him.

"Lavender," the shaking man in front of him mumbled, but did not make a move to uncurl out of his position.

Phil bumped his friend's shoulder lightly with the requested mug of tea. "Come on now, Daniel. You have to get your head up to drink your tea," he reminded soothingly.

Dan's head slowly came up from his knees. His watery eyes looked miserable, and his nose was red and sniffling. Without a word, he reached forward for the mug and began to sip on it slowly. For a few minutes, they simply sat there, sipping on their tea and listening to the music play. After a while, Dan began to relax, and Phil could tell that he was ready to talk.

"Do you ever think about the fact that death is inevitable?" Dan asked in a small voice. "Like, one day, randomly, one of us could be in an accident or something else horrible happen. What would the other one of us do? Or what if it happens after I get married? What if I have kids that I leave behind? How would my wife go on? Would she get over it and marry someone else? Would everyone just forget about me? And what about when they're all dead, too, and my name will just fade away and no one will ever remember me. I'll join the billions of other people that we've never heard of, never even thought of. What if-"

And on and on he continued. Phil sat there patiently and listened as his best friend rambled on about death and life and what it all meant and his regrets about not living life to the fullest. Several times he wanted to interject, but he knew better. No matter how comforting he could make his words, they wouldn't have any effect on Dan when he was like this. They would just be words, vowels and consonants and sounds, without any meaning.

At least thirty minutes later, Dan fell quiet once more. He stared down at his now cold mug of tea and idly played with the fringe of the blanket. When he hadn't said anything for a few minutes, Phil knew it was now his turn.

"I do think about those things sometimes," he started. "I think everyone does. We all wonder about what could happen versus what will happen. That's one of the things about life is we can't always control what will happen, but we can try to make it better." Phil paused, looking closely to try to tell if Dan was listening or not. When Dan gave a little nod to confirm his unspoken question, Phil smiled and continued.

"We all have regrets- things we wish we could go back and change. Like my haircut from two years ago," Phil joked. A tiny, almost invisible upward quirk touched Dan's lips at this comment. "But we have to keep going. Not everything is going to be okay all the time, but that's what makes the good times better, yeah?"

Dan slowly nodded his head in agreement. Phil took in a deep breath and went on. "And to be honest, I think about the other stuff all the time," he admitted. Phil's best friend tilted his head, confused. "About getting married and whatnot," Phil clarified. "I mean, I'm five years older than you, meaning that I've had five more years to get a girlfriend, and I still haven't succeeded. I know the right girl is out there, but I guess I just hope it's everything I think it will be. Like The Fault in Our Stars, but without the cancer and dying."

Dan couldn't help but chuckle at that, and Phil laughed quietly with him, knowing that his plan was working. Now, as the clock showed that it was nearly five am, Dan's eyes were finally starting to droop. Phil took the mug out of Dan's nearly limp hands and put it on the desk next to his.

He stood up and gently shook Dan's shoulders. "Come on, Daniel. It's time to get to bed," he whispered. Not having the strength to protest, Dan nodded sleepily and let Phil help him up and into his bed.

Just as Phil had turned off the lights and was about to leave, he heard a weak voice say "wait". He looked back and saw Dan all snuggled up in his duvet with a sheepish look on his face.

"I just wanted to say thanks," he mumbled, embarrassed. "I never say thanks, and I should have. You're a really good friend…" he trailed off. Phil smiled as he watched Dan struggling to stay awake.

"You're welcome," Phil replied with a smile. "Now go to sleep."

Phil began to shut the door softly, laughing to himself when he heard Dan murmur, "Don't tell me what to do, idiot,".

 **As someone who struggles with anxiety, this is kind of like my thank you to all of those who have been there for me during my panic attacks. Even though I sometimes forget to say it out loud, your efforts to help me mean the world to me.**


	2. Chapter 2

Dan knew his best friend. He knew that his best friend had a thing for dry cereal and Muse and Mario Kart. He even knew some of his best friend's biggest secrets, the kind that you never tell to a single soul. But above all, he knew that Phil sometimes felt very insecure. On days like this, Dan could usually find Phil wandering about the house aimlessly with an odd, faraway look in his eyes and a frown on his lips. And on days like this, that's when Dan could feel his best-friend-protocols kicking in.

He wasn't the best at listening or saying encouraging things; that was more Phil's area of expertise. No, Dan was better at procrastination. In this situation, however, Dan liked to call it "purposeful distraction". This was when Dan would get Phil to do something completely random or ridiculous to get Phil's mind off of things. This technique usually worked, which was good because it was the only one Dan had.

So here goes nothing.

It was a Tuesday in July, and Dan felt like reconsidering taking a terribly cold shower if only he could just cool down for one second. Phil, upon not-so-close inspection, seemed to feel the same way, but Dan knew better. Oddly enough, the heat wasn't the thing that made Phil look so miserable today. It was instead something else, something that Dan knew he had to push out of Phil's mind.

Sweating like a dog, Dan made his way to the top of the staircase and opened the door to the office. Phil was lying on the couch, staring off into space and frowning. After standing there for a full minute, Dan cleared his throat. It took a moment, but eventually Phil's eyes met Dan's. It was like he was staring right through him.

"I was just going to go to the leisure center to cool down in the pool…" Dan trailed off. This may or may not have been his worst idea to cheer Phil up yet, but to his defense, his sun-baked brain couldn't think of anything else. "Want to join?"

"Sure," Phil mumbled after a few seconds. "Give me ten minutes." Dan nodded awkwardly before he went back downstairs, praying that this would work. Those ten minutes later, Dan was waiting by the door, watching as Phil stumbled down the hallway in a t-shirt and swim trunks. As Phil didn't want to talk and Dan didn't know what to say, the walk to the leisure center was silent.

The moment they stepped into the pool, however…that's when everything changed.

Subtly, so that Phil wouldn't notice, Dan made sure that Phil was the one next to the pool as they walked around to put their things on a chair. Once they were walking past the deep end, Dan glanced back at the bored, half-asleep lifeguard. Mission was a go.

"Here, I'll take your stuff," Dan offered. Phil held out his phone and watched on dully as Dan put it on a pool chair with their towels. Phil turned back to stare out at the pool and sighed. One second, Phil was moping and lost in his thoughts as he stood on the wet concrete. The next, Phil was sopping wet and completely soaked all the way through.

Gasping for breath, Phil laughed loudly and pointed at Dan, shouting, "I hate you! Why would you do that?!", to which Dan replied by jumping into the pool with a massive splash. A water fight ensued, and both of them couldn't stop laughing as they acted like water benders creating massive waves to conquer their enemies.

After this, Dan challenged Phil to a diving contest, which both of them failed hilariously. "Come on, man! What was that? You have the grace of a hippo!" Dan shouted from where he was sat on the side of the pool.

"I'll show you!" Phil called back bravely from the high dive. Phil then proceeded to slip off the wet diving board, nearly hitting his head as he came crashing down into the waters below. Dan fell back onto the pool deck, laughing so hard he was crying. He laughed even harder when Phil arose from the water and shook his head, sending water from his hair everywhere. A few million games of Marco Polo later, the boys were tired and ready to go home.

During the trip home, there wasn't any conversation, but there were plenty of laughs. They couldn't make eye contact without bursting into a fit of laughter. Once through the apartment door, they went their separate ways to change into dry clothes. Dan wondered if Phil would say anything. Maybe a brief "thanks" or even a heartfelt "you're a good friend". But instead of thinking on it for too long, he shook his head and set to work drying his hair with a towel. Phil probably wouldn't even realize that it had all been planned out so very meticulously.

It was several hours later, and Dan had settled into his sofa crease to mindlessly scroll through Tumblr before heading off to bed. Phil was sat beside him playing Mario Kart, every now and then saying a sharp "oh no!" to himself. Dan noticed that the game had been turned off, but he didn't comment. Suddenly, he was attacked from the side.

His natural reaction was to freeze, but when he realized that it was Phil "attacking" him, he let out a sigh of relief. "What are you doing?" Dan asked curiously. The sight of Phil curling himself around a motionless Dan was quite hilarious.

Phil looked embarrassed, but he continued to hug Dan tightly. "Thanking you for helping me feel better today."

Dan smiled to himself and hugged Phil back for a brief moment. "It's alright. What are best friends for anyway?"


End file.
